


The Most Important Thing

by j_stolirazzz



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Hurt Anakin Skywalker, Hurt/Comfort, No beta we die like mne, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Obi-Wan is trying, Post-Episode: s04e15 Deception, sort of comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:41:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24331522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_stolirazzz/pseuds/j_stolirazzz
Summary: Some aftermath of the infamous Deception Arc, because they totally skimmed over it in the show.“Anakin, I know you’re angry-”“I’m not angry,” Anakin interrupted, his voice thick, “I’m in pain, and you put me here! The person who’s supposed to…” he trailed off, his unsaid words floating through the air, suffocating them both.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 17
Kudos: 183





	The Most Important Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Ouch, enjoy ;)

Anakin had experienced loss. He was no stranger to people leaving him, but that didn’t stop it from hurting every time. He thought losing his mother was the worst pain he’d ever feel, and although it will always leave a black stain on his heart, he was not prepared for losing Obi-Wan. The moment he saw Ahsoka’s tears and felt his master’s presence fade from their bond, he felt like he couldn’t breath. He was numb as he carried back his best friend’s body. Numb as he watched his burn. Numb as his killer was shipped off to prison. Numb.

The only thing that helped him feel anything, was his anger. He held onto it, knowing that without the fire that burned through his chest he’d be left alone with his icy sorrow. It fueled his day to day actions, it was the only thing keeping him afloat amongst all his pain.

Then, suddenly, Obi-Wan was alive. Intensified by his connection to the force, Anakin was overwhelmed with relief, pain, grief, and confusion. They crashed into him like a wave, almost knocking him over as he tried to figure out which way was up. How dare the Council do this, how dare the Separatists force Obi-Wan into these situations. His anger returned to him like an old friend, fueling him as he did his duty. He saved the Chancellor, battled Dooku, he acted like a Jedi. And then he heard it.

 _It was my decision to keep the truth from you_. Even now, days later, Anakin can’t make his peace with the words. Not once, not even for a second, was his anger directed at his former master. From the moment he found out he was alive, up until he heard those words, his faith had still been with Obi-Wan. They were a team, they trusted each other, and yet…

So he sat, staring at the wall, waiting for the universe to suddenly make sense again. Knowing, however, that it never did.

*~*

When Obi-Wan entered the room, Anakin was sitting on the floor, staring at the opposite wall blankly. Immediately Obi-Wan softened, and his gut twinged with a feeling akin to guilt. It was for the mission, he reminded himself, and the mission is the most important thing. Looking at Anakin however, sitting stiller than he’s ever seen him, Obi-Wan wonders if it is. For the first time, looking at his friend’s face, he wonders what the most important thing to him is. Sighing, he clears his throat.

“Anakin-”

“What don’t you understand about ‘I don’t want to talk to you’” he interrupts, not once looking away from the wall.

“I know, I know, but it’s been a few days and I wanted to…” Obi-Wan trailed off. What was his purpose here? He wanted Anakin back, he wanted his friend back, but he wasn’t entirely sure how to get there. He wasn’t sure he could give Anakin what he needed to get there. In his pause, Anakin swiftly stood up and faced his old master, finally showing some of his infamous emotions.

“You wanted to, what?” he started angrily, his tone hostile. “To make me understand? Maybe try to apologize? What, Master Kenobi,” Obi-Wan flinched, “is the purpose of your so unwelcome visit today?”

“I- I am sorry that my deception caused you pain,” and at that, Anakin scoffed, but Obi-Wan kept going, “but as a Jedi, I had to prioritize the mission.”

“That’s such a Jedi apology.” Anakin bit back, shaking his head in disgust.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Anakin said, stressing the word ‘means’ as if he were talking to a child, “that you can’t even admit that you were wrong in this one.”

“I may have been cruel, but I wasn’t wrong. I-”

“You used me!” Anakin interrupted. “Not the Separatists, not the Sith, not even the Council. You.” Anakin’s eyes were red through his exclamation, breath heavy with emotion, and Obi-Wan was speechless as he processed his friend’s words. A pain settling in his chest he couldn’t quite identify.

“Anakin, I-”

“I trusted you. I’ve given you parts of my soul, pieces of my heart, and you took that and twisted it. You abused the closeness we shared, molded it until it was useful, and gave it to the Council. You took my greatest weakness and relied on it!”

Silence. A moment that seemed to last an eternity as the two men stared at each other. One with tears threatening to drip down his face, and the other with an anguished look of understanding in place of their usual stoic mask.

“Oh, Anakin…”

“I had to carry your body back, and watch it burn. What did I do to deserve that?” At that point, Anakin’s words had become a whisper and Obi-Wan had to look away. He knew he had his reasons, but while looking at the expression on his brother’s face he couldn’t think of anything to justify this.

"No, Anakin, nothing.” Obi-Wan stated firmly, and he moved to put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder, “You’ve done nothing-”

“Don’t touch me.” He interrupted, swatting Obi-Wan’s hand away sharply, letting it awkwardly hang there in rejection.

“Anakin, I know you’re angry-”

“I’m not angry,” Anakin interrupted, his voice thick, “I’m in pain, and you put me here! The person who’s supposed to…” he trailed off, his unsaid words floating through the air, suffocating them both.

“Anakin, I-” Obi-wan cut himself off, struggling for once in his life to find the words to make this better. Anakin stared at his friend, face unreadable as Obi-Wan fumbled through an explanation.

“I- it was for the mission…” he finally whispered, and at those words Anakin sharply turned his back on his master.

“Get out.” he said, voice cold and flat. And, with a last anguished look at Anakin, Obi-Wan left.

*~*

Eventually, things went back to normal. The war took over, more important things were happening, and the anger faded away. On the surface, all appeared normal. But unspoken words and forgotten apologies always lingered. More secrets were kept, more lies were told, and both men took their souls back and held them close to their chest. Their hearts, however, weren’t so easy. They each held a piece of the other’s heart, no matter how unwillingly.

So when one turned its back on everything that’s ever hurt him and allowed himself to be consumed with anger, the other one felt a piece of their heart die. The piece he gave to his brother long, long ago. The one that left a hole in him until his demise, until his brother too joined him in the force. Where together, they could start to heal.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!
> 
> Just a note, I don't think this was the reason for Anakin's fall or anything. I just think that a million things built up over the course of the war, and losing his trust in Obi-Wan was one of them.


End file.
